June Reflection
Ah, summer. I love it so much, and even though I’m past the halfway point, I am still happy and grateful. I’m using Emily P. Freeman’s newsletter questions to help me reflect further on the loveliness of this summer so far.
When was a moment of delight in June?
My daughter went to a day camp, and none of her friends were attending this year. The only person she knew who was going was her brother, and he was leaving early every day for basketball camp. She is fairly introverted, so I really encouraged her to make friends and talk to people.
At lunch, I would text her every day. “How’s it going? Are you talking to people? Sitting with anyone you’ve met?” Her answers reflected her eye rolls as clearly as if she was sitting in front of me. “I socialized in the class,” she said. “I’m sitting with people and they’re nice but I don’t want to talk to them.”
She is the sweetest girl in the world, but I worried about her ability to make friends. Who just sits with others but doesn’t want to talk to them? People were going to think she was rude. I was encouraged and relieved by the end of the week when she was finally talking to kids in her classes, connecting over common interests, and I was proud of her growth.
We went to church on the weekend, and when the pastor asked everyone to turn and greet each other, I had to hide my eye roll. I waved at a couple of people but didn’t know anyone around me, and I sighed as the man in front of me made me shake his hand. I was sure they were all nice, but I didn’t know them and I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
I looked at my daughter next to me, and I’m not sure I have ever felt such kinship with anyone in my life.
My moment of delight came in realizing she and I are both fine. We take a few minutes to warm up and to feel comfortable with new people, but we aren’t against them. We both could stand to reach out to others more, but honestly? I like us, and other people do too. I have worried about her, but I don’t need to. We’re both okay.
What was your favorite photo you took in June?
One of my favorite photos was a picture of the four of us at Shakespeare in the Park. It was a perfect, gorgeous night, on the chilly side. We were there to see A Midsummer Night’s Dream, my favorite of the comedies. I knew the kids were too young to get everything, but it was a delight to see how much they followed and enjoyed the experience. I loved being able to watch how much my daughter has grown in her understanding, to laugh with her at all my favorite parts, and to let her link her arm in mine and lean in to me under a perfect sky as Puck swooped across the stage. It was beautiful.
What will you try in July?
July is when I traditionally start turning my mind back to all the unknowns coming my way, and my stress builds, my mind creating worst-case scenarios that spread over my brain like smoke, the scent lingering even after I have waved away the clouds. In July, I am going to try to trust God with all the unknowns, with the things I can imagine and the things I can’t yet. We have been here every year, God and I, and I see him more easily in my circumstances now. I understand myself better and why I welcome the worry, and I see how God is slowly working in me to help me release. In July, I will trust him in the uncertainty and try to release the worries that I know, even as I foster them, are unfounded.
I don’t post a reflection every month, but I am constantly thinking through them to help me notice and appreciate the life I have, and to help me live it fully. If you have a reflection practice, I would love to hear it.